Tuesday, July 22, 2008

DAY 15 - MELTDOWN

Yesterday was a bad day. What was supposed to be a day of celebration with the conclusion of our deal for our business, instead stalled again with a last minute problem.
Nevertheless we all went for our planned celebratory meal and drink afterwards. I just wanted to get out of there and go home. The temptation to have a drink was at an all time high.
I said 'fuck it' as I sat at the table. My disappointment was huge and I needed a drink to quench the anxiety. Life was bad in my head and I wanted a big dirty pint.
I told the others at the table who knew about the blog that I was going to have a drink. Pauly had been teasing me all day. She kept telling me how she was going to enjoy her drink when the deal was done.
Timothy was more supportive. He urged me not to have a drink as the waiter poured a bottle of his preferred white wine. The glass in front of me was filled.
I can't explain it, but I didn't touch it. I don't have any clue how I managed to resist. I think I had a sense with my head so messed up that alcohol would be the worst solution under the circumstances. I needed to keep my head leval, take stock and just deal with the problems at hand.
And thats what I hope to do today.

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