Thursday, July 17, 2008


Right now I'm typing this entry from my lap top in the comfort of my bed. I live five floors above a pub/club. The music reverberating up is thumping. I can hear lots of the conversations of the people outside smoking on the street.
The music now sounds like a Shirly Bassey version of Light My Fire by The Doors. I'll never sleep.
Thanks to the those who have posted positive comments. Its great to get any type of feedback.
Shann in the States posted a comment claiming non alcoholic beer still has alcohol in it?! No way!
I'm Googling that as we speak.
(5 Mins Later)
Hmmmmm. I suddenly feel cheated.
There is infact alcohol content in non alcoholic beer. That's bizarre. I had just assumed there was none.
So lets see. Since I have been off the booze I have drank one bottle of Becks NA and one bottle or Erdinger NA. Becks NA contains 0.3% alcohol and Erdinger contains 0.5% alcohol. So addmittedly its only a smidgen. But what the fuck! Becks and Erdinger have just slyly fucked up my whole year! Excuse my language.
Can I sue somebody?
I'll just have to pretend it never happened. But why would they call is alcohol free, when its not alcohol free? Doesn't that breach some kind of trade rule? False advertising? Yadda yadda ya.

Moving on. I need to reiterate I'm not an alcoholic. And I'm not a recovering alcoholic. I'm just a regular shmo who is perversly deciding to try quit the booze for the year. Call it a lark if you will.

Despite that, I have had quite a few comments of late on the subject of the Alcoholics Anonymous organisation. Now I don't know anything about them as such, but Patrick has decided to let me know the truth through reems of comments. Apparently they are a creepy cult like movement!

Its all too much for me now. Evil lying beer corporations. Evil lying help organisations. Where is the hope for humanity. God dammit!


PATRICK said...



July 5th 1993

15 years ago today I had my last drink...

I have stated sober by doing what was suggested. Go to meetings, listen, get a sponsor, work the steps. Clean house, trust God and be of service, work with other alcoholics.

In meetings I learned what my future would be if I continued drinking and drugging. Also in meetings I learned what my future would be if stated clean and sober and incorporated this program into my life. That I would be happy joyous and free. I am grateful to say I made a choice to be clean and sober and work this program, daily. I am not perfect at it at all and I am glad that we are not required to. Just be honest open minded and willing... the keys

I am grateful to be clean and sober and for all of you thank you, because tomorrow I will celebrate 15 years of continuous sobriety, and a life worth living because of the program

Posted by ♥Shann♥ at 11:34 AM


Greetings Shannon,

The 12 STEPS are designed to fill you with DEMONS (Satan’s messengers). Re: 3rd STEP: If I give my will to a higher power, how can I have the will to continue to control my will? And if I don’t have the will to control my will, and can’t control my will any longer, then how can I continue to place my will in the care of my higher power?

What’s to stop me from accidentally “taking my will back’ without meaning to do so. Read John 3: 16!! You are obviously brainwashed Shannon? You only have to look at the life of Wilson (he was a psychopath). Are you a psychopath, Shan, or just a TERRIFIED “Little Girl,” who wants her Mummy [AA]? Basically, AA has given you a license to kill – YOURSELF!!


PATRICK said...


Bill W. : The absorbing and deeply moving life story of Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous
Robert Thomsen

1-8 of 8 pages with reference to Bill W’s Higher Power inside this book:

on Page 152:
“… BILL W. something more conservative to balance his holdings, he had hit … and, more perhaps than anything, gave him the sense of power he had always craved. Late in the summer he grew … they told him, everything was high, but it was going higher. American Tel and Tel was over 310, General Electric 403. It was a time to have confidence . It was …”

on Page 189:
“… BILL W. tried praying, and keeping an open mind about it … … using the word “God” again, Ebby began speaking of “another power,” a “higher power.” And as he did, Bill was no longer pretending to listen; his full attention had been won. It was …”

on Page 202:
“… BILL W. rightness. No matter how wrong things seemed to be, they … a part of God, himself a living part of the higher power, was a new and revolutionary feeling. And it was a feeling that he wanted to hang on to now, to …”

on Page 230:
“… BILL W. over, he would find himself startled into a smile. There … All he wanted was to feel himself part of the higher power he knew was running the universe. He was also convinced that alcoholism was a three-pronged illness , mental, physical and …”

on Page 240:
“… BILL W. more than a game they were playing, more than a … pragmatists. They might have been instruments, channels through which a higher power had started to work, but for them that afternoon, it was only a start. Forty was a startling figure, but …”

on Page 294:
“… BILL W. But the non-alcoholics remained skeptical. To the psychiatrically oriented, all … inner voice, but in talking with others he would say higher power, life force or any words the listener might be comfortable with. But by whatever name they cared to use, it …”

on Page 298:
“… BILL W. But as with the mysterious ingredient that he knew was … the verge of grasping a message or moving into some higher state of consciousness , he had never talked about it; … years he went on following, trying to understand, a mysterious power he sensed was there, a part of his concept of anonymity. Though he could not quite comprehend its meaning, he …”

on Page 324:
“… BILL W. what has been his fate. Our conversation which he has … when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding. You might be led to that goal by an … action from above and isolated in society, cannot resist the power of evil, which is called very aptly the Devil. But the use of such words arouses so many mistakes that …”

1-1 of 1 page with references to Jesus Christ inside this book:
1. on Page 193:
“… some-for the old, the hopeless, for those who had passed beyond loving, beyond any hope of really living, but, by Christ, he was different. It might be the last arrogant gasp of alcoholic pride but, miserable and terrified as he was, …”

MATTHEW 23:15 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.


PATRICK said...

I don't attend AA meetings anymore -- thank God. I imagine leaving AA becomes more difficult the longer one has been exposed to this evil, soul-destroying cult. I read with some sadness of an AA ZOMBIE who wanted to leave but found it difficult because AA was his whole life.

One becomes trapped & I imagine most AA ZOMBIES feel safe albeit quite isolated from the real world. I imagine most AA ZOMBIES don’t have the guts to quit(AA)?

My process (REDEMPTION) started in 1994 (therapy, etc) but it took me many years to make a complete break from all 12 Step programs (I was also going to SLAA, CODA, ACOA).

I imagine most “alcoholics” are terrified of intimacy (emotional cowards) & attending12 Step programs are the ultimate escape (from intimacy), because of the indoctrination ("If you quit AA -- You will drink").

I would suggest that quite a few of the AA ZOMBIES are "pussies" because they won’t face life "full on" without the "crutch" of 12 Step programs.


PATRICK said...


From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts, which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough? At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamours, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my newfound Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity, as I had never known. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountaintop blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden
and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. SATAN to delude millions of people used Wilson.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) are one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have Eternal Life.


PATRICK said...



Is not the time coming, and the day hastening, when covetous men shall be ashamed of loving the world, and voluptuous men ashamed of loving their pleasures, and ambitious men ashamed of loving their honors?

For is it not a horrid shame, that a rational creature should be such a sot as to love sin which is most loathsome, and not to love Jesus who is most lovely? To love deformity, and not beauty?

Oh shame, shame! It is a shame that sin should have such esteem, and Jesus such great contempt put upon him. But shame shall before long confound these now shameless wretches, when they shall cry out, "We are ashamed that we loved profits, and not Jesus- houses, lands, lusts, and not Jesus.

This is the confusion of our faces, and shame covers us-- that we should be so foolish, and so blind, that we had not sense, nor reason, to distinguish between sin, which is the greatest and most odious evil, and Jesus who is the greatest and most lovely good."

But the time will never come, the day will never be, that a gracious soul shall be ashamed of his sincere love to Jesus Christ.


PATRICK said...


An Angel of Light?

February 7, 2008

Bruce Green died this week...and we just returned from his burial service. In the next two weeks a memorial service will be held for Bruce at the Twenty-Four Hour Club. On that occasion I intend to read this short story, one of my many memories of this wonderful man:

I love Bruce Green. And with a love so pure, Bruce Green Twelve-Stepped me two times. The first time, in February 1974, I did not know him. He and another guy came to my house. I have no recollection whatever of that first visit, my family tells me it did take place.

One month later I arrived at the door of Alcoholics Anonymous, thoroughly beaten, evidently ready to "give up". With God helping me, I never took a drink of alcohol since that time. Bruce was--only by chance, I did not know him!--chairperson at my first Alcoholics Anonymous beginner’s meeting, and I DO remember that occasion. I was completely unimpressed (cough....cough!). That was March 19, 1974.

Nearly 34 sober years after that first meeting (just two days after Christmas 2007) I walked into the crowded "cookie meeting", and took a seat at the big round table next to Bruce. He turned to me and looked me in the eye. Then, wearing that huge grin of his, he said “You're new here, aren't you?”

Well, I played along with what I thought was a game. He told me he would see that I got a Big Book and some phone numbers before I left the room, then began to explain a few things about Alcoholics Anonymous to me. Back and forth, I played his little game, we’ve known each other for such a long time.

After the meeting, when he went to fetch me a Big Book, I realized he no longer recognized ME! When he Twelve-Stepped me the first time, 34 years ago, I did not know HIM. When he Twelve-Stepped me 34 sober years later, my friend did not know ME.

I guess one moral of my story is: Bruce taught that we do not have to know give them the toolkit of recovery, to help them, to love them!

(If I’m crying, it is because I recognize again that UNLIMITED AWESOME POWER which is ours for the taking. That same power kept Bruce working his AA program even after his mind had failed...he was still out there working it, offering to help who he thought was a “newcomer” by making me comfortable in my “new” surroundings of Alcoholics Anonymous.)

Bruce went home that night with who I suppose was his caregiver. You'll meet him one day, right inside heaven's gate, and--with that huge smile, he'll probably say to you, "You're new here, aren't you?"

Steve E.

You will eventually lose your mind, Steve - if you continue to attend AA.


♥Shann♥ said...

First off Patrick is a little crazy as you can see... and whatever
Second, your whole year is NOT fucked, you didnt know. NOW you know, so if you want to not drink still for a year just no NON Alcohol Beer,
and I am not claiming you are an alcoholic, its not my place... just curious about your blog and your journey and wish you well on it. I am merely a fellow blogger to support you
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND lol AA is NOT a satanic cult or anything like that.
Hope you have a great Friday, and have a good weekend!

PS you may want to fix your comment section that only you can approve them, because Patrick will send you billions of comments and spam you to death...