Friday, August 15, 2008

DAY 34 - BLOOD, SWET AND TEARS

Well maybe just tears. It's strange how most of the must emotional, annoying and disturbing events of my life have usually been related to alcohol.
Maybe its not that strange.
A little strange.
I had the toxic combination of family, girlfriend and booze for the past couple of days, and needless to say, for the most silly, uncontrollable reasons, tears have been shed and emotions have run wild.
Tears and emotions that are quickly forgotten the day after of coarse.
But when your not drinking, its not so easy to forget these incidents. You live them out full on, while others can barely remember the next day.
Anyway, yesterday was a day of healing after the tired and emotionals of the night before.
Did I feel like a drink? Not in the slightest. The night priors events gave me further reason to not want to drink.
I'm reminded of the time I was most tempted to do Coke (the white brand) in my life. I was living in New York, and a couple of girls were pushing it on me. Finally I said, 'why not?'. 'You only live once. Give it a go'.
But before I did I had to go the bathroom.
When I came back out, the two girls faces were twitching and they looked like zombies.
With that I politely exited. I don't even think they noticed.
I have never been in the slightest bit tempted since.
Once again, its the negative sides affects that don't do it for me.
I'm rambling, I'm rambling now.
Thanks for the comments of late all. I feel honored:-)

4 comments:

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

hmm. the emotional state is very predictable i'm afraid. i shared a similar discussion with a woman weeks sober a couple of hours ago as it happens.

aa caters for this ? 'swing' towards emotionality in the first 90 days. it does require some careful management.
Im afraid to say that some who stay 'dry' but still with (what i call) 'untreated alcoholism' can become progressively emotionally frayed as time goes on. some (literally) fall apart after 18 months or so without alcohol. sometimes we acll these types 'dry drunks'. or just plain do-lally! I sometimes cal them GAF. Meaning GRIM AS F**K. heheh

theres an aa saying..
'When you stop anesthetizing yourself, you soon realize WHY you needed the anesthetic!"

Hope said...

Your journey is interesting to me. Thank you for posting it here.

Maria Baggaley said...

hi i rally need help my husband has only just told me he has a drink problem and i am out my dept and i can not cope

Maria Baggaley said...

hiya is there any one one here at all to help me thanks maria