Sunday, August 3, 2008

DAY 26 - MR. X AND MR. Z

Last night was tumultuous for all involved. Two Irish visitors to Hamburg who we shall call Mr.X and Mr. Z arrived in time for a birthday party that was scheduled. They are good bantered friendly chaps, but as they were on ´holiday´ they were required by Irish law to implement Overseas Operation Self Distruct(OOSD).

Before we went to the party I decided to take Mr. X and Mr. Z on a quick bar hop of Hamburg. I was knocking back Cokes, Fantas, and Bionades while X and Z were drinking double JD and Cokes. They onimously regaled me with stories of failed relationships.

When we got to the party at about 10.30 they were already in fine form.
The party was a fancy head dress. I made little effort, sticking on a pair of shades and imitating Bono. Peace and love or else!
I managed to get into the spirit of the occasion. Devoid of the gargle I had no option but to partake in healthy conversations with all the others, listening attentively to their responses, while secretly recounting my German vocabulary through self dialogue.

Come 3am I noticed Mr. X was upset with the world around him. He wanted a women, and a women was not forthcoming. To keep his mood up he continued to sail the high seas of liqueur.
The atmosphere had taken a dip for the first time in the evening and I knew that it was probably a wise time to hit the sack.
As for Mr. X and Mr. Z, I suggested they call it a night also, but that wasn´t a option for them. Operation Overseas Self Distruct was still on going.

I was awoken at 8AM this morning by the door bell.
Answering the door I found Mr. Z. He was looking in very bad shape and smelling fiercely.
´Where´s Mr. X?´ I said.
´Dunno man. I lost him. He´s in a bad way. I´ve wandered for the last two hours trying to find him. I don´t think we´ll see him again´, he replied worryingly.
´OK then.´ I said with a gulp.

Luckily Mr. X turned up a few hours ago very tired and emotional. Apparently after losing Mr. Z, he was kiddnapped by two Hamburg drug lords. With no hope and very drunk he was saved by a rambling Iranian beauty. He strolled the streets with this stunner and even shared a romantic Burger King breakfast with her. Alas when it came to saving her number in his phone, he pressed delete instead. This is all true.

Tears are being shed now.

There is no moral to this story.

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