Is it an omen that the day I celebrate one month off the booze is the day the Olympics begin? Perhaps its a sign for what can be achieved with a focused mind, hard work and dedication. Dodgy substances such as booze are banned of coarse. Unless, that is, you want to hide the fact that you've taken another dodgy substance, in which case drowning yourself with whiskey is a good idea.
I'm writing this as the President of the International Olympic Committee is making his speech at the opening ceremony of the Olympics.
Instead of watching the Olympics opening ceremony I've spent the last couple of hours watching the various news channels coverage of the hostilities between Russia and Georgia. The whole situation sounds very scary. I'm not sure if its really as bad as its made out to be or is it just the news channels trying to divert viewers away from Olympic ceremony.
It's hard to make sense of the world and existence on a day like today.
I'm getting a bit creepy now. So I'll stop.
But here's a question that I pondered last night when out with a few friends - if your not drinking, are you expected to buy a round of drinks?
Friday, August 8, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
DAY 29 - ROMULAN ALE ANYONE?
I'm finding myself wanting to stay up later and later in the evening time to watch movies or mind numbing TV. It's no doubt because I'm still drinking a lot of sugary drinks.
My girlfriend spotted I had drank a full 1.5L bottle of Fanta this evening. I didn't even notice it myself. It's really bad I have to say, and something I'll have to get a grip on.
Unfortunately the good alternative - Bionade, replied to my email seeking sponsorship saying:
Unfortunately we have to inform you that BIONADE doesn't support any sponsoring activities that include giving money.
Therefore it's not possible to sponsor your blog. We hope for your understanding and wish you all the best in the meantime!
Shucks is all I can say.
The movie we watched this evening was Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country. It was interesting to see the scene where the Enterprise crew and the Klingon's share some Romulan Ale, which is like the Absinthe of the future.
Wikipedia: Romulan ale is a popular blue alcoholic beverage which was illegal because of a Federation trade embargo through the late 24th century. Despite this, it was often traded openly. During the alliance with the Federation because of the Dominion War, Romulan ale was legalized.
The recipe according to DrinkMixer.Com is:
375 ml Bacardi® 151 rum
375 ml Everclear® alcohol
375 ml Blue Curacao liqueur
Combine ingredients in a (just over) one-liter bottle. Chill in freezer for two hours. Serve in shot glasses.
Why I'm giving you tips on how to make illegal drinks of the future I have no idea. It does sound interesting though.
My girlfriend spotted I had drank a full 1.5L bottle of Fanta this evening. I didn't even notice it myself. It's really bad I have to say, and something I'll have to get a grip on.
Unfortunately the good alternative - Bionade, replied to my email seeking sponsorship saying:
Unfortunately we have to inform you that BIONADE doesn't support any sponsoring activities that include giving money.
Therefore it's not possible to sponsor your blog. We hope for your understanding and wish you all the best in the meantime!
Shucks is all I can say.
The movie we watched this evening was Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country. It was interesting to see the scene where the Enterprise crew and the Klingon's share some Romulan Ale, which is like the Absinthe of the future.
Wikipedia: Romulan ale is a popular blue alcoholic beverage which was illegal because of a Federation trade embargo through the late 24th century. Despite this, it was often traded openly. During the alliance with the Federation because of the Dominion War, Romulan ale was legalized.
The recipe according to DrinkMixer.Com is:
375 ml Bacardi® 151 rum
375 ml Everclear® alcohol
375 ml Blue Curacao liqueur
Combine ingredients in a (just over) one-liter bottle. Chill in freezer for two hours. Serve in shot glasses.
Why I'm giving you tips on how to make illegal drinks of the future I have no idea. It does sound interesting though.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
DAY 28 - ABSINTHE MINDED
I just spent the last three hours at the Hamburger Dom, which is one of Europes biggest fairs. The Dom has rollercoasters, ghost trains, and a multitude of other spinny roundy things that make me sick to look at. It´s massive. The main rollercoaster has five huge loopdaloops making the Olympic logo which is very topical.
Added to all the attractions are hundreds of very appetising food stands. Not like back home in Dublin where all you get at such events are the standard burger and chips, the Doms food selection was like being in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
With the alcohol on the back burner, my sweet tooth is working over time right now, so it was impossible for me to turn away from the sugary magic I was surrounded by. I felt like Homer Simpson in Chocolate Land!
There were also beer stands a plenty, but despite that the place was spik and span (clean), and there were no spanners (drunk people) wrecking the joint. I don´t think alcohol is served at Funderland (Irelands pale imitation to Hamburgs Dom).
On my way home I noticed an Absinthe bar! I never had Absinthe in my life. I was alwayscled to believe it was an illegal drink only served in far off locations around Ireland.
Obviously that was all hogwashvand infact Absinthe is served in nice little glasses in bars near where I live. Perfect. I know I won´t be sampling the mind altering delights any time soon.
Still, another day off the booze.
Added to all the attractions are hundreds of very appetising food stands. Not like back home in Dublin where all you get at such events are the standard burger and chips, the Doms food selection was like being in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
With the alcohol on the back burner, my sweet tooth is working over time right now, so it was impossible for me to turn away from the sugary magic I was surrounded by. I felt like Homer Simpson in Chocolate Land!
There were also beer stands a plenty, but despite that the place was spik and span (clean), and there were no spanners (drunk people) wrecking the joint. I don´t think alcohol is served at Funderland (Irelands pale imitation to Hamburgs Dom).
On my way home I noticed an Absinthe bar! I never had Absinthe in my life. I was alwayscled to believe it was an illegal drink only served in far off locations around Ireland.
Obviously that was all hogwashvand infact Absinthe is served in nice little glasses in bars near where I live. Perfect. I know I won´t be sampling the mind altering delights any time soon.
Still, another day off the booze.
Monday, August 4, 2008
DAY 27 - THE SPILLAGE
I was out again with Mr. Z from Ireland in a local bar. At one point he spilled his pint all over the table and on his jacket. It got me thinking how annoying the experience of spilling a drink is. I'd say its one of life's most frustrating simple accidents. It's right up there with spilling your dinner all over yourself.
It's hard to express in words what the actual feeling is when you spill a drink. Your stomach clenches up before quickly releasing giving you the desire to shout at the top of your lungs - F@*K!!!!!!
Whats even more annoying is when you are a bit tipsy, but trying hard not to appear tipsy and then a spillage occurs. You are instantly accused of being drunk.
"Are you drunk?"
If your trying to impress a women this is a painful situation to be in. You have to act fast and lie very cleverly.
When you look up 'drunk spilling beer' on YouTube, this video comes up at the top of the list...
It's hard to express in words what the actual feeling is when you spill a drink. Your stomach clenches up before quickly releasing giving you the desire to shout at the top of your lungs - F@*K!!!!!!
Whats even more annoying is when you are a bit tipsy, but trying hard not to appear tipsy and then a spillage occurs. You are instantly accused of being drunk.
"Are you drunk?"
If your trying to impress a women this is a painful situation to be in. You have to act fast and lie very cleverly.
When you look up 'drunk spilling beer' on YouTube, this video comes up at the top of the list...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
DAY 26 - MR. X AND MR. Z
Last night was tumultuous for all involved. Two Irish visitors to Hamburg who we shall call Mr.X and Mr. Z arrived in time for a birthday party that was scheduled. They are good bantered friendly chaps, but as they were on ´holiday´ they were required by Irish law to implement Overseas Operation Self Distruct(OOSD).
Before we went to the party I decided to take Mr. X and Mr. Z on a quick bar hop of Hamburg. I was knocking back Cokes, Fantas, and Bionades while X and Z were drinking double JD and Cokes. They onimously regaled me with stories of failed relationships.
When we got to the party at about 10.30 they were already in fine form.
The party was a fancy head dress. I made little effort, sticking on a pair of shades and imitating Bono. Peace and love or else!
I managed to get into the spirit of the occasion. Devoid of the gargle I had no option but to partake in healthy conversations with all the others, listening attentively to their responses, while secretly recounting my German vocabulary through self dialogue.
Come 3am I noticed Mr. X was upset with the world around him. He wanted a women, and a women was not forthcoming. To keep his mood up he continued to sail the high seas of liqueur.
The atmosphere had taken a dip for the first time in the evening and I knew that it was probably a wise time to hit the sack.
As for Mr. X and Mr. Z, I suggested they call it a night also, but that wasn´t a option for them. Operation Overseas Self Distruct was still on going.
I was awoken at 8AM this morning by the door bell.
Answering the door I found Mr. Z. He was looking in very bad shape and smelling fiercely.
´Where´s Mr. X?´ I said.
´Dunno man. I lost him. He´s in a bad way. I´ve wandered for the last two hours trying to find him. I don´t think we´ll see him again´, he replied worryingly.
´OK then.´ I said with a gulp.
Luckily Mr. X turned up a few hours ago very tired and emotional. Apparently after losing Mr. Z, he was kiddnapped by two Hamburg drug lords. With no hope and very drunk he was saved by a rambling Iranian beauty. He strolled the streets with this stunner and even shared a romantic Burger King breakfast with her. Alas when it came to saving her number in his phone, he pressed delete instead. This is all true.
Tears are being shed now.
There is no moral to this story.
Before we went to the party I decided to take Mr. X and Mr. Z on a quick bar hop of Hamburg. I was knocking back Cokes, Fantas, and Bionades while X and Z were drinking double JD and Cokes. They onimously regaled me with stories of failed relationships.
When we got to the party at about 10.30 they were already in fine form.
The party was a fancy head dress. I made little effort, sticking on a pair of shades and imitating Bono. Peace and love or else!
I managed to get into the spirit of the occasion. Devoid of the gargle I had no option but to partake in healthy conversations with all the others, listening attentively to their responses, while secretly recounting my German vocabulary through self dialogue.
Come 3am I noticed Mr. X was upset with the world around him. He wanted a women, and a women was not forthcoming. To keep his mood up he continued to sail the high seas of liqueur.
The atmosphere had taken a dip for the first time in the evening and I knew that it was probably a wise time to hit the sack.
As for Mr. X and Mr. Z, I suggested they call it a night also, but that wasn´t a option for them. Operation Overseas Self Distruct was still on going.
I was awoken at 8AM this morning by the door bell.
Answering the door I found Mr. Z. He was looking in very bad shape and smelling fiercely.
´Where´s Mr. X?´ I said.
´Dunno man. I lost him. He´s in a bad way. I´ve wandered for the last two hours trying to find him. I don´t think we´ll see him again´, he replied worryingly.
´OK then.´ I said with a gulp.
Luckily Mr. X turned up a few hours ago very tired and emotional. Apparently after losing Mr. Z, he was kiddnapped by two Hamburg drug lords. With no hope and very drunk he was saved by a rambling Iranian beauty. He strolled the streets with this stunner and even shared a romantic Burger King breakfast with her. Alas when it came to saving her number in his phone, he pressed delete instead. This is all true.
Tears are being shed now.
There is no moral to this story.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
DAY 25 - BIONADE MAN
My god I was miserable yesterday. After a day of sitting in front of a computer the endless mind numbing string of emails had taken their tole. There has to be more to life?
I'll need to find new past times quickly, but again I found myself at the end of the day in a bar.
I had a Bionade, which I was reliably told is the hip cool drink of the moment.
Here's the low down. Bionade has a similar malty, tangy taste of beer but it is a health drink. Bionade is very low in sugar, but because gluconic acid shares a similar molecular structure to glucose, drinkers are fooled into tasting sweetness. And while soft drinks are often loaded with cheap, aggressive acids, Bionades is a product of natural micro-organisms at work. Bionade does have plenty of good stuff in it: calcium and magnesium, for instance. A litre of Bionade will supply half the daily requirements of these minerals. And so on and so forth...
It wasn't bad at all. Fruity with a bit of a kick. A nice alternative to my current threesome of Coke, Fanta and sparkling water.
So had an idea, why not get Bionade to sponsor this blog? Worth a shot. Here goes another email...
' Dear Mr. Bionade,
To introduce myself, I am a 25 year old award winning film maker, website creator and blogger from Ireland currently living in Germany.
I am very impressed with your product. I enjoyed my first bottle in a beach bar last night in Hamburg.
I've recently started a blog called A Year Off The Booze, where I tell the story of one non alcoholics quest to go a year without alcohol. This is easier said than done as you can imagine.
I'm at day 25, and up until now I've drank quite a lot of Coke, Fanta and other bad fizzy drinks.
I think Bionade would make a great replacement drink for those.
I wonder would Bionade consider sponsoring my blog? A Year Off The Booze in association with Bionade? Sounds good don't you think?
I hope to hear from you.
Yours sincerely,
The Boozeness'
Sent. It will never work.
I'll need to find new past times quickly, but again I found myself at the end of the day in a bar.
I had a Bionade, which I was reliably told is the hip cool drink of the moment.
Here's the low down. Bionade has a similar malty, tangy taste of beer but it is a health drink. Bionade is very low in sugar, but because gluconic acid shares a similar molecular structure to glucose, drinkers are fooled into tasting sweetness. And while soft drinks are often loaded with cheap, aggressive acids, Bionades is a product of natural micro-organisms at work. Bionade does have plenty of good stuff in it: calcium and magnesium, for instance. A litre of Bionade will supply half the daily requirements of these minerals. And so on and so forth...
It wasn't bad at all. Fruity with a bit of a kick. A nice alternative to my current threesome of Coke, Fanta and sparkling water.
So had an idea, why not get Bionade to sponsor this blog? Worth a shot. Here goes another email...
' Dear Mr. Bionade,
To introduce myself, I am a 25 year old award winning film maker, website creator and blogger from Ireland currently living in Germany.
I am very impressed with your product. I enjoyed my first bottle in a beach bar last night in Hamburg.
I've recently started a blog called A Year Off The Booze, where I tell the story of one non alcoholics quest to go a year without alcohol. This is easier said than done as you can imagine.
I'm at day 25, and up until now I've drank quite a lot of Coke, Fanta and other bad fizzy drinks.
I think Bionade would make a great replacement drink for those.
I wonder would Bionade consider sponsoring my blog? A Year Off The Booze in association with Bionade? Sounds good don't you think?
I hope to hear from you.
Yours sincerely,
The Boozeness'
Sent. It will never work.
Friday, August 1, 2008
DAY 24 - A THIRSTY DEAD BEE
I was sitting with my girlfriend outside on the beautiful Alster river yesterday. We were going to have a nice meal in the scorching heat.
My girlfriend was having a nice chilled beer, and I was having a Fanta orange.
Suddenly we were attacked by an evil looking bee. The bee had no fear as we tried to swipe it away. The more we swiped, the more it attacked us. My girlfriend told me that bees react to aggression so best not annoy it too much.
With that we decided to just let it be (no pun intended).
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the bee was making a slow assent on the outside of my Fanta bottle.
'He's not actually going to go inside it is he?' I said.
'Why would he do that, he would die a certain death.'
Just as the bee was about to dive in to the sweet sugary Fanta, he flew away and landed on the rim of my girlfriends beer glass.
Curious I thought.
The bee began to climb down the inner side of the glass on a mission for alcohol. My girlfriend swiped the bee away again and when the bee finally came to land on the table, she killed it stone dead with her bottle. Splat!
It was the single most evil thing I've seen my girlfriend do. Killed in the name of beer.
But that aside, I was curious, why did the bee prefer the beer to the sweet sugary Fanta? I'd imagine Fanta would assist better in the creation of honey?
Doing a quick Google search, I have learned that bees are in fact very similar to humans. Apparently alcohol affects bees and humans in similar ways - it impairs motor functioning along with learning and memory processing.
So basically the bee that my girlfriend callously murdered had just had a hard day in the hive and wanted to escape the pressures with a quick scoop. Fanta obviously wasn't the order of the day.
If for any reason you want to learn more about bees and alcohol, you can go here, here and here.
Also you would be surprised how many YouTube videos there are of drunk bees. Heres just one:
My girlfriend was having a nice chilled beer, and I was having a Fanta orange.
Suddenly we were attacked by an evil looking bee. The bee had no fear as we tried to swipe it away. The more we swiped, the more it attacked us. My girlfriend told me that bees react to aggression so best not annoy it too much.
With that we decided to just let it be (no pun intended).
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the bee was making a slow assent on the outside of my Fanta bottle.
'He's not actually going to go inside it is he?' I said.
'Why would he do that, he would die a certain death.'
Just as the bee was about to dive in to the sweet sugary Fanta, he flew away and landed on the rim of my girlfriends beer glass.
Curious I thought.
The bee began to climb down the inner side of the glass on a mission for alcohol. My girlfriend swiped the bee away again and when the bee finally came to land on the table, she killed it stone dead with her bottle. Splat!
It was the single most evil thing I've seen my girlfriend do. Killed in the name of beer.
But that aside, I was curious, why did the bee prefer the beer to the sweet sugary Fanta? I'd imagine Fanta would assist better in the creation of honey?
Doing a quick Google search, I have learned that bees are in fact very similar to humans. Apparently alcohol affects bees and humans in similar ways - it impairs motor functioning along with learning and memory processing.
So basically the bee that my girlfriend callously murdered had just had a hard day in the hive and wanted to escape the pressures with a quick scoop. Fanta obviously wasn't the order of the day.
If for any reason you want to learn more about bees and alcohol, you can go here, here and here.
Also you would be surprised how many YouTube videos there are of drunk bees. Heres just one:
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