DAY 40 - OH SO BORED

Friday night.
Bored.
Oh so bored.
Struggling.
Can' go on.
Need a break.

This is beginning to sound like that guy from Into The Wild. In a way this blog is a bit like that guy. He went to Alaska to be at one with nature. I'm staying in on a Friday night to be at one with the telly.

The whole of Dublin is at the Electric Picnic - a 3 day music festival. One of Europes coolest. It's all about peace, and love, music, laughter and drink. Those who are not at the Picnic just are not that cool, but probably still out and about. And drinking.

My ex flatmate has just told me she's heading out.

'Where are you going?' I ask.

'For drinks' she replies.

For drinks?! That expression sounds funny when you think about it. I'm going out 'for drinks'. I'm bored being in, so I'm going out 'for drinks.' I'm not going out to the cinema, not to the theatre, not to play some sport, I can't stay in and read a book.
No...instead, like the rest of the world, I'm going out 'for drinks'.

Back home in Hamburg, my girlfriend is also out 'for drinks'. She told me she is in 'party harty Marty' mode. So it will be a lot of 'for drinks.'

I'm cracking. Going crazy.

Crazy like a coconut.

DAY 39 - BACK TO THE BLOG

I've just been plane lazy about writing this blog since I got back to Dublin last week. So to punish myself, I'm just going to pretend its only Day 39.
The temptation to give up on my quest has been at an all time high since I've been back in the land of the gargle. Just an hour ago I was almost about to delete this blog and pretend it never happened.
I called my girlfriend and told her I was going to have a drink.
To my surprise she told me not to.
It's strange how she has changed her tone. At the beginning she wanted me to drink. Now, she thinks I'm best to stay off it.
I think she's worried that I'll be down on myself if I quit my mission now.
There's just too many social situations to get through at the moment in my life. Too many people to meet and be chatty with.
I've noticed about 4 new bars on Dame Street, since I've been gone a month to Hamburg. 4!!!
There is a new Korean restaurant opened up on the door step of my old Dublin apartment. The owner is struggling for business it seems. So when myself and a few friends went in, he just kept pouring them free wine, while trying to ply them with sushi.
4 new bars and a hoard of free drink. Welcome home.
Its Thursday night, and the town is positively buzzing with people in the bars.
I'm losing faith. Can I go on?

DAY 38 - STAG HELL

Last night, I was at a barbecue with a bunch of socialites here in Hamburg.
I met one female lawyer who told me she was over a year off the booze. She told me she had noticed she was drinking too much and so decided to stop.
It was nice to meet one other person who was doing the same thing I am. I think she's the first person I've met in 38 days who's also got a booze ban in place.
She told me the best part of it all is waking up the day after a night out and feeling great while everyone else is on the floor.
I had a phone call then from a friend back in Dublin. He told me he was coming to Hamburg today for a stag party - with 25 friends!
I did offer to bring them all on a bar crawl, but the whole day today I've been dreading it. I don't have the mental energy for the evening.
My girlfriend commented today, how lethargic I've been despite being off the booze. It's true. While I know I've got more energy, I still am not using it.
I have an early flight tomorrow back to Dublin.
Another chance for head readjustment.

DAY 37 - NATURAL BLUES

I saw Mamma Mia with my girlfriend yesterday. I felt I need a raucous cheer up after a day of gloom.
As I walked to the cinema I considered giving up my mission to go a year off the booze. Maybe alcohol is needed to get through lifes natural ups and downs. Maybe alcohol somehow smooths out the bumpy road of life.
Maybe thats why alcohol is on earth - it's a gift from the gods to help people get through life. But that would suggest that the gods have created an imperfect world. Worse still, they are trying to give us an imperfect cure.

Am I confusing you?

I thought better of it though. I refuse to believe you can't get through life without drinking. It must be possible. Surely?

Mamma Mia is good fun though. Don't take it too seriously and its grand.

When we got back last night, one of my flatmates got her university results. They were very good. That called for a round of shots for the apartment to celebrate. Some of my flatmates still don't know I'm off the booze.
When I said no, I got a now typical response -

'But your Irish!'

Last night I dreamt I just packed the towel in. I went into a bar, and ordered a large pint.

I called a friend from back in Dublin this morning. He told me he was in Co. Cork cycling. He told me he had a bad case of alcohol blues and needed to clear his head. I've got natural blues, and he's got alcohol blues.

I wish I could cycle better.

Thats right, I can't cycle.

DAY 36 - FAST FOOD NATION

I'm again back on the fast food fix. The delivery kind. My gym goage has stopped again.
The pizza delivery service here in Hamburg is particularly good and no where near as expensive as Dublin.
For instance, it cost me 10 Euros last night to get a pasta, a healthy dose of pizza bread and a doh nut. The quality is excellent.
In Dublin, the only option would really be Dominoes pizza. You'd have to fork out 15 - 20 Euros for a much sub standard product.
I was so full last night that I never got around to eating the doh nut.
I'm eating it now.
It's covered in chocolate.
Yummy.

DAY 35 - ASTRA DAY

I've just found out a way to watch football (that's soccer) online for free. Its crazy. It means that I don't have to go to bars to watch football. No temptation to drink, or eat dodgy over priced food. It's a money saver. The site also allows you to watch movies for free! I feel quite slow catching onto these type of things.
Yesterday was Astra day in Hamburg. Astra is the local beer. There was a big festival on the harbor. I have never seen so many drunk people in my life. It was worse than St. Patricks Day in Dublin.
We got there quite late, when most of the festivities were over. The place was an absolute mess. It was the worst state I've seen Hamburg since I've been here. I was up to my knees in empty plastic beer cups. Of coarse I stupidly decided to wear sandals. I felt like Indiana Jones watching my every step.
We went to a bar called The Kogge and played table football which is very popular here.
I'm useless at it.
I had another crazy dream last night. I dreamed I was called into the office of the President of China. When I got in there I was quite nervous. He told me he wasn't happy with some of my blog entries.
I'm not happy with this one.

DAY 34 - BLOOD, SWET AND TEARS

Well maybe just tears. It's strange how most of the must emotional, annoying and disturbing events of my life have usually been related to alcohol.
Maybe its not that strange.
A little strange.
I had the toxic combination of family, girlfriend and booze for the past couple of days, and needless to say, for the most silly, uncontrollable reasons, tears have been shed and emotions have run wild.
Tears and emotions that are quickly forgotten the day after of coarse.
But when your not drinking, its not so easy to forget these incidents. You live them out full on, while others can barely remember the next day.
Anyway, yesterday was a day of healing after the tired and emotionals of the night before.
Did I feel like a drink? Not in the slightest. The night priors events gave me further reason to not want to drink.
I'm reminded of the time I was most tempted to do Coke (the white brand) in my life. I was living in New York, and a couple of girls were pushing it on me. Finally I said, 'why not?'. 'You only live once. Give it a go'.
But before I did I had to go the bathroom.
When I came back out, the two girls faces were twitching and they looked like zombies.
With that I politely exited. I don't even think they noticed.
I have never been in the slightest bit tempted since.
Once again, its the negative sides affects that don't do it for me.
I'm rambling, I'm rambling now.
Thanks for the comments of late all. I feel honored:-)